The importance of being earnest while using appropriate Register

I love talking in an odd way.
When I came to junior high, the definitely worst thing about sitting in a confined space together with 25 deprived  ten-year-olds laughing about the lady's suit I was wearing (I looked a bit like Ms. Quackfaster, Scrooge McDuck's charming (but old) secretary) was their language.

Even as a child, I hated people who talked in Austrian dialect. I had this weird thing where my lacrymal duct was kind of blocked (until this day, my oculist tries to convince me that she can only clean it with a syringe - forget it, Dr. Pongratz!!!) so my eyes were tearing all the time, especially when it was cold. And every time one of the kids in school came up to me snapping "Hey, why are you bawling?" (I'm having a hard time translating Austrian dialect into English, so please have mercy) I prayed to god I would never have to speak like this.

However, just like everyone was trying to persuade me to "do something with your hair!" and straighten it "so you don't have to look like a bum anymore" everyone wanted me tospeak like the others. Some girls in my class had decided I'd be more popular if I talked like someone I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley at night.
I perfectly remember saying one of this girls "No, Lena! You're doing it wrong. It's not 'I beg your pardon?', it's 'What?!' !"
"But my older sister told me to say that", I pointed out, "she said I'd be in huge trouble if I said 'What'  and forgot to say 'Yes, please and 'No, thanks''"
"No, you're not. Trust me, it's 'What'. And you'll probably get beaten up if you speak like that. It's just 'No'. "

And this was the day when I, indeed, decided I would never speak like this. And that's what register is all about: Finding the right words for the right situation. Saying "NO" to the girl with the lip gloss from your class, saying "No, thank you" to your hyper-polite older sister and saying "Fucking hell, NO!" to your English professor who can talk about the true meaning of the word "bitch" for half an hour.
It's not that difficult. Verily I say unto you: it's a lot of fun.







(thanks, Mr. Newman, for your inspiring way of talking.)


#register
#FrankNewman
#school
#politeness
#Wat